I’ve been debating posting this or not, but in the end I decided that I would share a little on how the pregnancy has been affecting me lately. There are things I’ve expected with being pregnant like having food cravings, being a little cranky and tearing up during a sad part of a movie. I’ve been fortunate that I haven’t had severe mood swings or been overwhelmed with crying spells. I was prepared for many changes, but with this pregnancy I have become very insecure and fragile, which no one warned me about.
I never used to care what others thought of how I looked, but now I find myself obsessing over my appearance and worrying about what others think. This is a huge change for me; I’ve never been so sensitive.
Now in my third trimester I’ve started to obsess over my weight and how I look. I’ve always been thin and fit, so I'm really struggling with the changes my body is going through with my ever growing baby. I am enjoying the pregnancy and agree with others that I have a cute little baby bump, but sometimes I feel like my new body shape is very unattractive. For the most part I don’t even want my boyfriend Chris to look at me because I’m so insecure about how much my body has changed. I am 36 weeks along (nine months) and have gained around 25 pounds. This is considered a healthy amount for where I am in this pregnancy, but seeing it in the mirror has been very difficult for me. (If anyone has seen The Grinch.. that’s kind of how I think I look when I see myself.)
On top of the physical changes, I am noticing that I’ve become extremely insecure about others opinions, particularly when it comes to baby names. Daily I am asked what baby names we're considering for our tiny human. My answer is always “we haven’t really decided or talked about it yet”. The truth is I am too afraid to say what names I like in case someone doesn’t like it. It shouldn’t matter whether or not someone likes or dislikes what we name the baby, but to me it’s a huge deal.
I’m sure many other mom’s have dealt with similar insecurities, but for me it has been a big change being so vulnerable and insecure about my body and my actions. Luckily, Chris has been and continues to be very encouraging and supportive. I am enjoying and embracing all the ups and downs of this pregnancy. I couldn’t ask for anyone better to experience this with.
Now to leave on a more positive note: I am very happy being pregnant and love feeling our little baby moving around, kicking and growing. I constantly find myself sitting beside the crib going through the baby clothes we’ve collected. I can’t wait; only four more weeks until we meet our little one!
Are there any other moms out there who are experiencing or who have experienced insecurities or problems they weren’t prepared for?