Here's a little journal entry I wrote a year ago when Jane was still a newborn:
Relationships change, people change. Children are hard work. They put a damper on things. Some people may be able to keep their shit together but some people, like us, are finding it hard to balance.
I miss staying up all night chatting and laughing with Chris - it's been replaced with both of us over tired, Chris snoring away, the baby crying laying in between us and me praying she will stop crying and fall asleep.
I miss spur of the moment getaways - they've been replaced with failed attempts to catch up on house work and lazy days in front of the TV because were just too tired to pack up the dog and baby and leaving the house.
I miss constant silly text messages letting each other know how crazy we are about the other - They've been replaced with maybe the odd text from Chris saying he will be working late or me asking him to pick up formula on his way home.
Yes, mom life is beautiful. Every day I say to myself how much I love my life. But having a kid is extremely hard on a relationship. Change is hard and I do miss things we used to be able to do.
I'm sure one day when we settle into this whole parenting thing we will be able to get more sleep, go one those weekend getaways and actually have the energy to do something together.
You have to make it past these difficult times to get there. It’s not that it's even difficult, it's just different.
And sometimes different is really hard.
Looking back on this journal entry from a year ago is tough. I can see why I didn't post it then but I am glad I wrote it. I was in a vulnerable state and our relationship was suffering but we made it through.
Chris and I are both so much happier than we have ever been. Jane isn't colic anymore and sleeps through the night. We get to randomly go on weekend getaways again. We just got back from Seattle. You can check out the post on our trip here. We have settled into a routine and get the sleep we need. Now not only are our weekends full of fun activities as a family but we have the energy and time during the week to do things we enjoy as well.
We go on date nights together, we go swimming with Jane, go to the dog park with Hank. Once or twice a week Chris will take Jane after work while I go to yoga, then another night I will watch her so he can go to the pub after work with his co-workers. We are constantly having friends over for dinner parties and games. Our lives are full again and we finally feel like functioning happy humans.
I love this life.